Most formal teaching statements contain the pedagogy employed, learning objectives, details of individual classes taught, evaluations of teaching, and more. I prepared one of those statements for my promotion to associate professor. Rather than updating that document, I am using instead a blog posting that I created for my retirement. It is more of a reflection than a statement. In any case, you will get to know me better with this document. The rest of this document is the original blog posting from May 2019.

It seems like only yesterday I taught my first history class at Pratt Community College in southcentral Kansas. It has been four decades since that first class session and I still remember specific students and class activities. Three years ago, I began phased retirement from the University of Minnesota. I have been working on this reflection since then. While certainly not the best story, it is my story. I hope you enjoy it and think about your own journey.

Influence to Become a Teacher

I always wanted to be a college history teacher. I think I was influenced by Mr. Ralph Dennis who was one of my high school teachers. I liked his approach to teaching which engaged us in the content while holding a pleasant environment for the learning. When I enrolled at Emporia State University as an undergraduate, the academic adviser told me to pick another future career since there were no job openings for college history teachers. I ignored the advice and completed twin undergraduate majors in history and philosophy and a Master’s degree in history. I had my college teaching job before I finished my graduate degree.

In addition to my high school teachers, I was influenced by a Bible verse. In the book of Ephesians, Paul is talking about various spiritual gifts that God gives to each of us. When I read “teaching” as one of the gifts, I thought that applied to me. In the following verse, Paul explained that the gifts were “to equip the saints for the work…” While the context is focused on the church, I perceived it more broadly. My mission was to teach students so that they could make a difference in their world.

Intersection of my Personal Faith with my Professional Life

For too much of my life, my faith as a Christ-follower was a stealth identity compared to my professional life as an educator. However, I found intersections of my faith with my roles as a <researcher and knowledge disseminator>, <public service provider>, and <teacher>. Being a professional can be a solitary life. Much responsibility is on the educator for their work performance. Life as an educator was more of a lifestyle than a predictable job. The following Bible verse reminded me that I was responsible for my work, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” Colossians 3:23). Following is a description of those three parts of my life.

I was clear in my college classes and with my colleagues about being a Christ-follower rather than a Christian. An unfortunate growing trend is the word “Christian” having negative baggage affixed to it in the eyes of students and young adults. Too many think “Christians” are negative, overly judgmental about others, and a killjoy about life. Many think Christians automatically reject gay, bisexual, or transgender people. Some of my best colleagues and friends are gay. For purposes of this brief statement, I will not try to unpack those ideas other than to say I am a “Christ-follower”, literally someone who seeks to emulate the life of Jesus. Rather than focusing on others, I concern myself with my relationship with God. My issues are enough for me to deal with. The church that I attend welcomes everyone to worship and learn. I participate in the community outreach activities of our church to feed the hungry, house the homeless, and provide ministries for those in need. The first step toward long-lasting change in society is for people to have a changed heart and to become a Christ-follower. With change on the inside, they are more likely to behave differently towards others and work to achieve social justice for everyone. Inner freedom is the first step to a free society.

Intersection with Teaching

As described earlier, I have always felt that my future career would be as a teacher. Equipping others for service became my motto. I considered history an excellent preparation for life. My students were focused on the forces that propel history and change rather than attempting to have them memorize people, places, and times. I wanted my students to see the underlying forces that were causing change. If they focused on those forces, they could see the same forces in their lives after my class was over. Perhaps they could make wise choices as a result.

I taught a variety of social science courses during my teaching career. My favorite was teaching an introductory global history course. Students said they enjoyed the class since it gave them background information on cultures over the past hundred years. Students reported they enjoyed the class since it gave them background information on cultures that they would interact with throughout their work and personal lives. At the University of Minnesota, I was fortunate to have many recent immigrant students enroll in the class, and everyone had an opportunity to interact with one another. The students loved the conversations with those new immigrants and the perspectives that they shared.

Our classroom became an experimental laboratory to explore different learning pedagogies, learning technologies, and more. It was a natural progression to use the classroom experiences for research studies and dissemination of best practices to make it more inclusive and accessible for first-gen students, historically underrepresented students, and those with disabilities.

I am passionate about making the class more inclusive because I can identify with many of my students. I am a first-generation college student. I was fortunate that my preferred learning style matched well with the lecture-only presentation style of my undergraduate college experience. That style of classroom presentation would not be appropriate anymore. When I think about who Jesus hung out with, it was not the religious leaders of society. Instead, it was marginalized and poor in society. An explicit Bible admonition is provided in the Book of Zechariah 7:9-10, “Thus says the LORD of hosts, render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart.”

I followed that model by adapting my classroom approach and activities to meet the needs of the first-gen, historically underrepresented, and marginalized students who do not have the social capital that many other students have. This is reflected in the next section of my faith statement, the intersection with my research and knowledge dissemination.

Getting to Know My Students

My favorite time of the semester is day one. Freshly scrubbed faces, the smell of toothpaste, and their attentiveness described the students. When I began the class, I was aware of their concentration. You could literally feel their eyes. I think they were trying to figure me out. It may be a little over dramatic to say they were looking into my soul to see what kind of person and teacher I was. I will miss the interaction with them.

A friend advised me to get closer to the students to understand their personal as well as academic lives. Leon Hsu, a colleague of mine, had an activity where students could earn a few points of extra credit if they came to his office for a few minutes of questions. It is such a great way to learn more about them and connect names with faces. I adopted that activity as well. The quiet students in the class opened up to me during these short chats. I asked them about their cultural heritage, the best activities from other classes, and suggestions to make my class better. They were not shy about providing concrete things to change and those to preserve. Their honesty was refreshing and often humbling. I learned that the question is not if they have a part-time job, rather it was how many part-time jobs they were stitching together to pay for high tuition and textbook prices. Students often referred to tuition costs as the “second tuition”. Ouch. Their lives were more complicated than I ever realized. As a single person with no children, I live a pretty simple life. When they are having difficulty with assignments and exams, it was more often about managing the multiple demands on their lives rather than a lack of interest in the course. Their experience is so different than my residential college experience nearly a half-century earlier.

Understanding my Role with the Bigger Picture

It has been more difficult than I thought to retire from college teaching. It is not the actually teaching, but rather the interaction with the students. Regardless of how much older I became, my first-year students were always 18 years young. It gives a false sense of being younger. A favorite episode of the Twilight Zone TV show was “Changing of the guard”. It is about a single literature professor who was “retired” from his position at a private boy’s school after 51 years. The school board decided a younger teacher was needed to better relate to the young men. The professor took it hard and walked over to a nearby statue of the great educator Horace Mann. The professor looked at the statue and his most famous quotation, “Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.” While at the statue, the professor heard the school bell ringing. He walked to the school and then into his old classroom. As he sat at his desk, the ghosts of some of his previous students appeared. Each took a moment to explain to the professor how something from his class had made a difference later in their lives, often just before their premature death. After a few minutes, they disappeared leaving the professor with confirmation that his life had made a difference with many others. This episode resonated with me. While most of my colleagues in the Department of Curriculum and Instruction continue to have interactions with their graduate students throughout their careers, it is seldom that I cross paths with my former first-year students. I wonder what impact I made on my students. [Click on this link for YouTube video clip of the student ghosts, https://youtu.be/Ce6HlKSODwE ; Click on this link for a longer discussion of this episode, http://twilightzonevortex.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-changing-of-guard_20.html ]

For the past decade, I make it a point to listen to a song by .38 Special named “Teacher, Teacher” at the beginning of the academic term. One of the stanzas is “Teacher, teacher, can you teach me? Can you tell me all I need to know? Teacher, teacher, can you reach me? Or will I fall when you let me go?” [Web link to YouTube video, https://youtu.be/SL46rSUXW1k ; Web link to song lyrics, https://genius.com/38-special-teacher-teacher-lyrics ] It reminds me to make my class relevant for my students. I asked students to listen to the song lyrics and then write out their job descriptions for me in the class. Their answers were very interesting. A frequent item was for them to be treated with respect.

My Professional Development over the Years

I have been a fortunate teacher who has been surrounded by recognized teaching experts throughout my career. They have generously spent time with me to help improve my teaching. I do not compare myself with others who are far more skilled than I. It may seem trite, but I work to be the best teacher I could be. As an introvert, I naturally reflect on my previous work. The great basketball coach at UCLA, John Wooden, was successful for many reasons. One of them was that in preparing for an upcoming game, he did not analyze the opponent which is the standard procedure. Instead, he worked with his team to carefully study the previous game and improve on the mistakes. Mr. Wooden believed that if a team continually improved itself, they would be ready for the next team. Click on this link for more information about Mr. Wooden, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wooden

I am my own harshest critic and work to address my deficiencies. I am also a big Star Wars fan. Yoda was the Jedi master who was training young Luke Skywalker in the ways of the Force and how to defeat the enemy. Some of my favorite quotes are: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”, “If no mistake have you made, yet losing you are…a different game you should play”, and “The greatest teacher, failure is”. When I look back, the most powerful one is “No! Try Not! Do or do not, there is no try.” Considering my modest background, more has been accomplished than I ever could have predicted. “Trying” provides an excuse for failure. Instead, commitment to “do” is a vision for success. [Yoda YouTube movie clip, https://youtu.be/XZbVLvT7qBU ]

Being an Introvert and a Public Teacher

Teaching is a curious occupation for me as I am an introvert. I am uncomfortable at large gatherings due to feeling overwhelmed. For some reason, I am comfortable in the classroom with the students. I think people make assumptions about others who live their lives in the public eye that they are equally good at meeting others. I never knew how to express my feelings until I listened to “Limelight” by Rush. The lyrics for the band are written by the drummer. The band performs for enormous numbers of screaming fans and they think they have a relationship with the band members. While two members of the band interact with fans after the concert, the drummer stays in his room. He is uncomfortable with fans walking up to him to talk if he is recognized in the public. This confuses some that he is aloof. On the contrary, he is acting normally for an introvert. In the first verse he wrote, “Living on a lighted stage - Approaches the unreal - For those who think and feel - In touch with some reality - Beyond the gilded cage.” I finally got it about me. I live a very public life, but I crave private time to refresh. [Link to YouTube video, https://youtu.be/ZiRuj2_czzw ; Link to lyrics, https://genius.com/Rush-limelight-lyrics ]

Reflecting on my Past and Future

I am a fortunate person since when I began four decades ago I have never been unemployed. I have only experienced a total of five job interviews and was selected for four jobs. The benefits are great and still am mystified why I am paid to do something that I love. Sometimes when I give public talks I thank the taxpayers for providing such a wonderful job and acknowledge the trust that parents and other family members have expressed in me with teaching their child or grandchild.

When I look back on four decades of teaching, I try to figure out how I finished up here at the University of Minnesota. I began working at two tiny Kansas community colleges and somehow finished up here. I enjoyed telling my students that I would probably not been admitted to this selective admissions, research intensive, university. Life is composed of innumerable decisions and occurrences. Some that we make and others made by other forces. I tend to go with divine influence. But, two other models of influence are possible. At the end of the Forrest Gump movie a feather falls out of a book that Forrest was holding as his son boarded a school bus for the first time. As the feather floats into the sky, Forrest talks about his life and how it has been guided from one adventure to another. https://youtu.be/peijTiCjCDU Another movie that I like is “The Adjustment Bureau”. It is about a central character and how his life had been shaped by others. There was a central plan for Matt Damon’s life, he just did not see the individual actions that guided him. It is a good film about the smallest parts of our lives and how they influence the future. I highly recommend the film.

Where do I go now that the paid professional job finally comes to an end? I have lots of interests and plans, but I just look at the future one day at a time. Shakespeare wrote a line for Hamlet, who said he was bound for “an undiscovered country whose bourne no travelers return.” Hamlet was looking to his demise with a mystery ahead since no one has come back from there to tell the rest of us. (Except for Jesus Christ who was executed, rose from the dead, and was seen by more than 500 people afterward). I borrow Shakespeare’s line and reinterpret it that the undiscovered country is the future. I am excited for the journey to continue with new adventures to experience. May your future path be as pleasant as mine has been and will continue to be.